Some Tunes

Saturday, December 12, 2009

First Industry Feedback

It only took a few days from the time I electronically submitted requesting a critique. I really didn't think I'd be that nervous to open the file, but I was. The suspense was killing me, for sure.

The song I decided to go with was the first "completed" song in my studio. I put that in quotes because, as I'm learning, they are always a work in progress. At any rate, "Can't Say No" was the one. I'm going to drop in the lyrics here and see if you agree with the comment given around the lyrics. I haven't made any changes yet, because I was already aware of the mentioned concern.

copyright 2009 - Gary Todd

There’s something in the air
Moving on the ground
Feeding on the night
Making no sound

A deer in the headlights
Frozen in your tracks
Can’t keep moving forward
And you can’t go back


Can’t trust what you’re seeing
Can’t trust anything that you know
Don’t believe what you’re feeling
But you can’t say no


A shadow ‘cross the moonlight
A ripple in time
Sporting double vision
Just another sign

As you knew your life, it’s over
Never be the same
No way to recover
Can’t find the reigns



The lyric comment was that I never stated what it was that this person is afraid of, running from, etc. and this might frustrate the listener. I understand that, but I left it open on purpose - yet still, I can see the concern. Not sure if I'll adjust or not. One thing to remember when getting critiques is that it is from one person and is there opinion. Granted, it is an educated opinion from someone who is an A&R (artist & repertoire) person in the industry - so I don't take it lightly.
The other comment that I'll share was that I could have had a more dynamic release going into the chorus from the verses. I definitely hear that, but not sure yet how I can fix. Feel free to check it out on MySpace if you want to hear it (at least its posted there as of today). By the way, there were more comments/suggestions, but these are the ones I'll share today.
Bottom line was that for me, this was a very positive critique, giving me hope to continue and some advice for changes I may want to make for the song to be a better fit for promoting. I've got a lot of work ahead and I'm excited to move forward.


  1. Hi Gary.

    I checked out Myspace (sent you a friend request). A couple of questions about the lyrics:

    1) To what can we "not say no"? Not being able to go forward or back, and everything being over, what does "not say no" mean?

    2) In the second verse, the way it is written makes it seem as though the "Ripple in Time" is "Sporting double vision."

  2. Hi Mike

    I was checking out your myspace also. Very cool. Hidden deep, this is actually about love (not enough songs on the subject) - what can go through the mind in the process. So, "can't say no" is refering to the feelings and response to them. I apreciate the input on these.


  3. Well, I have been listening to some pretty powerful music lately by some of the giants of the rock and roll century, and I feel quite sure that a lot of the songs I like best never do tell you exactly what they're afraid of or . . . they give you a hint, but then go on to become confusing:

    Check it out.

    I like reading about your process, or as much as you're interested in sharing here :)

  4. So maybe he was talking about negative thoughts (and greedy leaders, how does that fit in?). But I loved the song before I tried to figure it out. Anyway, I'm going to keep my ears open and think about this one.